did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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