Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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