Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's never too late to be topless.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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