You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
