I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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