We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
