Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize