I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
