i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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