My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Is it penis luge time yet?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
