if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
