Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
