Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
