I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize