Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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