she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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