I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
