Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Randomize
