So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
