I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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