Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
