So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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