You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
