I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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