Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am mentally ready for anal.
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