I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
