i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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