just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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