You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
