I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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