Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
