hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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