I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
