Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
