love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
