then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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