my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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