I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I cockslap morals
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
