only if we run a train.
done.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
