This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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