I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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