is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
