Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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