You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
