I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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