I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize