He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Your penis caused this!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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