I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
