after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
