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I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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