He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
