I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
