Just fell off a train. Bad.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
