That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
