They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
