Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Watching her eat just hurts me
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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