if i can run in heels then i can drive
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
